Friday afternoon I sat on the waiting-for-your-date bench at Blue Sky Texas restaurant in Midland TX on one of the worst dirty dusty windy days I’d ever seen. And I’ve lived all but eight years of my life (only 12%) in West Texas; that’s a lot of dirty dusty windy days. This time it was so bad the National Weather Service gave severe weather warnings all week so smart people would plan to stay home. The dusty skies covered the Texas panhandle as far south as I-40, and all of Oklahoma. I’d already seen photos of a massive 50-car pileup on I-27 south of Amarillo and read that this was the windiest day in Oklahoma in 30 years. The wind even derailed a freight train near Logan NM.
And yet, we didn’t stay home. We weren’t going to let a little dirt in the air boss us around. I spent the morning running errands and writing and working on a Bible lesson for Sunday while Cyndi taught multiple yoga classes at her studio.
But stubborn resistance to the weather wasn’t the reason we were having lunch together and why I was waiting on the bench. The truth is, we meet at Blue Sky every Friday at 1:00 pm unless we’re out of town. It has become a treasured ritual in our marriage.
This day Blue Sky had about half as many customers as most Fridays, but twice as many as I expected. It was truly awful outside. This time the weather forecast was dead-on accurate. People were staggering across the restaurant parking lot, leaning into the wind, trying to keep their West Texas credibility and continue with their busy day as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening.
I looked at my weather app and it said the wind was blowing 38 mph with gusts up to 50 mph. It didn’t mention the dust that came with it.
Cyndi and I aren’t big eaters, by which I mean we are big into eating but not into eating big meals. We usually split entrees wherever we go. At Blue Sky we split a hamburger with tater tots. We each get our own drink. It isn’t the food we’re after, even though we love their hamburgers, but the scheduled time together. It has become a ritual for us. Friday mornings one of us will ask, “1:00?” and the other will nod, and we know we are on for that day.
We believe rituals, like meeting at Blue Sky at 1:00 every Friday, or Taco Tuesday at 7:00 pm, or Thursday jazz band rehearsal, or Sunday morning Bible class, enrich our marriage. For us, the repetition and anticipation of doing something simple week in and week out trumps fancy meals or elegant settings. Scheduled, intentional, repetition is relationship glue, and even after 45 years of marriage, we can’t get enough.
“I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.”
Psalm 119:32
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